Fleeing the Russians

Finding Family

Growing Up in Postwar Germany

Life in Schleswig-Holstein

Working in Germany, England, and Holland

Psychiatrists and Living in Madrid

Living in America

Family in America

A Rich and Wonderful Life

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Barbara Krueger [Annotator's Note: unsure of spelling] Heming was born in Cammin, Pomerania in 1941. She grew up on a small farm near the Baltic Sea although she does not recall ever seeing it. She has a brother who is three and a half years older than she is who still lives in Germany. Her parents both managed the farm. All of their family lived nearby. Heming and her brother returned to the farm 15 years prior to the interview and the place was completely different. Had she not moved to America her life would not be the same. The area is now under Polish jurisdiction and is a terrible place. In 1945 Heming's mother had another child who was three and a half years younger than Heming. Heming's mother told her that the radio announced that they [Annotator's Note: the Germans] were winning the war but when they looked out of their windows they could see Russian troops already in their town. The first wave of Russian soldiers were officers who were well behaved but the soldiers in the horde that followed were all drunk. The Russians were ill prepared for fighting a war. They were also uneducated and very dangerous. Heming's father was not conscripted because he was a farmer. As the Russians neared he was given a rifle and told to fight the Russians. He had never fired a rifle before. He was captured by the Russians and sent to a POW [Annotator's Note: prisoner of war] camp in Russia. Heming and her family went into the woods to hide along with the rest of the village. Most of the women were raped by the Russian soldiers and many committed suicide. Heming's mother was left alone. They were forced to walk toward the west. They had no food and Heming's infant brother, Hans Joachim, died of starvation during the walk and was buried along the way. Her grandfather died next, also from starvation. The family had to beg for food and Heming was a primary provider during that time. They ended up in East Germany near Peenemünde. All Heming had was a small knapsack. She did not even have shoes. They stopped at a place called Hohendorf where they spent six months.

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Through the American Red Cross, Barbara Heming's mother was able to locate her parents. They were living in the very small village of Hardebek in Schleswig-Holstein, not far from the border with Denmark. Her whole family was living in a single room in a small farm. German farmers had to take in and feed the refugees. It was a great hardship on the farmers. They already had a tough time and having to care for refugees made things even worse. Heming's mother found someone to take them all across the border during the night. They snuck through the woods to a cattle car that would take them to Hamburg. Heming's mother took her first and left her brother at the farm. Heming had nightmares about that trip for two years afterward. Heming's family lived in very rough conditions. Back at their original house, when the Russian soldiers entered their house they were amazed by the toilet. The Russian soldiers tried to wash potatoes in the toilet which only succeeded in stopping up the toilet. After the toilet backed up, the Russians shot everyone nearby because they thought the Germans were using magic. They never knew what was going to happen to them with the Russians around. The Russians were very primitive and irrational. Heming lived on the farm with her grandparents for six months before her mother and brother were able to catch up to her. When her mother and brother arrived Heming did not recognize either of them. She did recognize the lederhosen that her brother was wearing and deduced that it really was her mother and brother. Heming was about five by that time.

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Barbara Heming's mother worked as a maid on another farm. It was a tough life for her. Her father's brother had connections and knew that the Germans were losing the war. He packed up all of his worldly goods and put them on a freighter and shipped them to Hamburg. He became quite wealthy after the war but never had children so he took Heming's brother to live with him. Heming grew up as a single child in a small village while her brother grew up in Blankenese, an affluent suburb of Hamburg. Heming went to a small one room school house. Her teacher would make fun of her because her German grammar was so bad which actually helped her learn. He was a good psychologist and knew how to handle Heming. In Germany, a child’s life changes at ten years old. At that age, every child takes a test to see where their education will go from there. They may go to a higher level school or to a gymnasium which would allow them to go to university. Those who took the middle route were those who made up the middle class. Heming's teacher thought she should go to the higher level school in Munster or even to a gymnasium but her mother would not let her because she did not have any clothes. Her mother stated that she did not need to go to go to university because she was a girl and would get married. This was around 1951. The teacher informed Heming's mother that the Americans were sending care packages and the next time the school got one he would give it to Heming. It was her first exposure to America. The Germans had been defeated yet people who did not even know Heming sent her care packages. She also got K rations with chocolate and toilet paper. Heming was far behind many of the other children but was accepted into the higher level school. Heming was already an outsider in the village she lived in.

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Germany was changing for the better at that time. Barbara Heming's mother still had to work but was no longer working as a maid. Her grandparents had received about 10,000 German marks for the things they had lost. They used the money to buy a small house. They farmed their own vegetables which has Heming opposed to organic farming. The organic farmers used human waste to fertilize the crops and Heming contracted worms as a result. While in school their summer vacations were only about four weeks. They also got a week off in autumn so the children could help work on the farm picking potatoes. A machine dug them up then the people picked the potatoes up and put them in baskets. Heming worked right alongside her mother. It was hard work but, fortunately, the weather was not hot. Schleswig-Holstein is on the border near Denmark. The land lies between the North and Baltic Seas. The weather is always grey and the people there are grey too. They are not funny and are hard to live with. Heming saved some money and decided that she wanted to travel. She went to Spain where one of her aunts owned some property. Everybody there was funny and wonderful. It was much better than Schleswig-Holstein. After school she got a job. Ten of the 25 girls Heming went to school with died of cancer. When she returned for a school reunion she learned that she was the only one who left the area and traveled.

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Barbara Heming got a job in Hamburg as a bilingual secretary. She had claimed that she was proficient in English and German shorthand. Her boss had lived in Kenya and spoke fluent English and when he would dictate to her she could not understand him. He called her stupid in front of all of her fellow employees. She took classes in English shorthand and became proficient in it. She surprised her boss so much that when he left to go back to Kenya he gave her a bunch of roses and told her that she was the biggest surprise he has ever had. That gave her a lot of confidence. In Germany in the 1960s lower level employees never spoke to their bosses but Heming was not making much money so she went to see the big boss. She explained to him that it was not fair that other employees doing the same job she was were making three times more than she was just because they were older. Her boss listened to her and shortly afterward raised her salary to equal the other employees. Heming learned that if she wanted something that she would have to ask for it. She had to learn to really speak English so she took a job as an au pair in a home in England. She did not like the work because she was not good with children and did not know how to cook. It was hard learning but she did learn a lot. She learned that being positive and outgoing makes a big difference. After a year in England Heming went back home but left quickly to take a job in Rotterdam, the Netherlands with a shipping company. The Dutch hated Heming because of what the Germans had done to Rotterdam. They were still in the rebuilding phase when she arrived. Heming got along well with her Dutch boss and it was a good year and three months there. When she left the Netherlands she decided that she had to learn another language so she went to Madrid, Spain and took a job with anther shipping company.

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Barbara Heming's story is similar to all of those Germans who came from the east during the bleak period in the 1940s and 1950s. They became resilient as a result of the hardships they faced. A positive attitude goes a long way. Heming was surprised when she came to New York and learned that everyone had a psychiatrist. Heming's mother lost everything but never felt sorry for herself. That is Heming's attitude now. Madrid was interesting. That was in the early 1960s and Heming was about 22 years old. She was trying to learn Spanish and her friends suggested that to do so she would have to have a boyfriend. Heming decided to go to every bullfight which she very much enjoyed. She met a lot of Spaniards at the fights. They always thought that she was there for a fling. She went on many dates but was frequently left places when her dates realized that they were not going to get anything out of her. Even though she would be left places late at night she always felt safe because the Spanish police were everywhere. Heming did not have keys to the place she lived in. When she got home she would clap her hands and the door would be opened for her. Heming heard about the World's Fair being held in American in 1964 and decided that she wanted to go. She did not have any money but managed to get to the United States on a freighter after six weeks at sea.

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Barbara Heming applied for a job with several different companies but heard nothing back from them. She did not have any money but managed to get to the United States on a freighter after six weeks at sea. It was a great experience. Heming was shocked to see American supermarkets and the things they sold. The vastness of American was very impressive and still impresses her today. America has everything. It was a revelation to her. She did not initially think she would spend the rest of her life in the United States but she did. Things did not work out so well for Heming and her first husband. She was aware of the Cuban Missile Crisis and the Vietnam War but they were on the periphery. The events that made the biggest impressions on her were the two major blackouts experienced by New York City. The first was in 1968 and Heming was in the subway when it happened. When the lights went out everyone got quiet. Someone had a radio and informed everyone on the train that there was a massive blackout on the entire east coast. No one believed it. It was in August and very hot in the subway car. After more than an hour someone finally let them out and they exited through a manhole in the street. Everyone was very nice and helped each other out. There was a second blackout later. Heming's first husband died in 1978 of Lou Gehrig's Disease. They were living in Wayne, New Jersey and he was very sick for the last few years of his life. People suffering from that disease die a little every day even though their minds are still perfectly functional. One day Heming returned home and found her husband at the bottom of the stairs. He had fallen and was in a coma. He was taken to a hospital where he died during the night.

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Barbara Heming's first husband died in 1978 of Lou Gehrig's Disease. They were living in Wayne, New Jersey and he was very sick for the last few years of his life. People suffering from that disease die a little every day even though their minds are still perfectly functional. One day Heming returned home and found her husband at the bottom of the stairs. He had fallen and was in a coma. He was taken to a hospital where he died during the night. Heming met another person while sitting on a park bench during her lunch hour. She was listening to two women talking about their neighborhood in which there was quite a bit of mafia action. A nicely dressed man sat down between Heming and the two women. When the two women left Heming and the guy started talking. They later married. Her second husband died in 2003. Heming still lives in the same house they shared.

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Barbara Heming obtained her MBA and got a job in wealth management on Wall Street. The bank she worked for is one of the premiere banks in the United States. She loved her job. America has been a total joy to her. She wakes up every day and is grateful for all that she has. She has learned to be generous because that is how Americans are. She is very much involved with the Metropolitan Museum of Art and is on the board and chair for development of the American Farm School in Greece which is 111 years old. The school is the only boarding school in Greece and is one of the best institutions in the country. Heming is also on the board of the German Forum which helps young German speaking classical musicians to find venues in New York. It is a very rewarding experience. Heming has learned that people need to give of their time and their finances. She is happy that she has her late husband's family which is her family.

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